A great Marine Corps motto (popularized in Heart Break Ridge) is applicable to daily life. Most would speak of this as being used in physical situations like those seen on Dual Survival or Man vs Wild. My belief is one can apply this to milestones of life. Our first day at school, first public speech, first kiss, first house, first funeral, first bully, first job loss, first financial setback....the list goes on. In psychology it can be referred to as coping skills. We accumulate coping skill from small life challenges and hopefully rely on previous experience to deal with larger ones we take on in later years. That's if we are lucky enough to have the big challenges saved until the very end. With the current financial climate, the existing health status of the US, and the 24/7 internet tsunami of yellow journalism media related stress.....our tweens and "millennial's" are being tested before standard defenses are learned. I think of the ending scene in Platoon where Charlie Sheen is coming back from a slaughter, exhausted about to fly home and he looks over the line of young soldiers coming off the plane with uniforms freshly ironed, rifles unfired, clean-shaven with "deer in the headlights" looks of bewilderment. It is my hope that has young people learn their coping skills, the wing of a parent will be around to secure a soft landing from the experience and add insight to why an outcome occurred.
How can we expect this with 50% of all families end in separation, the new parents of today have more psychological diagnoses and reliance on prescription medicine than ever before and our elderly are separated from the nucleus of the dinner table. In fact, those "banks of wisdom" (before they turn senile) held as a big focus in American Indian society are so de-valued today. Even if the information is considered ancient by our tweens, the interaction of story telling and experience passed from grandparent to grandchild (without having to be interrupted with -"I have to get this phone call; I must have a drink; I can't take you since my work starts early tomorrow") plays such a valuable role in the young adult experiencing events that lead to grandpa's own coping skill. Whether or not the grandchild adapts that particular coping skill is not important, it is the experience that is being lived in the story.
Richard Davidson in his new book The Emotional Life of you Brain, speaks of his studies where a person watching a sport being practiced will stimulate the same brain pathway as actually playing the sport. The best athletes in the world have long known if you visualize the "basketball free throw" enough, you will increase the chance of sinking the ball in the real life situation.
So....do we abruptly throw our chicks out of the nest and hope they fly right after hatching.....no! Nature allows animals to provide parental shelter, teach life lessons then teach not to need sheltering. Wayne Dyer in his book The Shift spoke of parents making "leaning" unnecessary. It seems irresponsible to allow children to experience the world "on their own"....but in the true family nucleus; they will never be alone. The challenge I see is how to impart these values to our kids in problem solving life if the family nucleus is devolving. Probably goes back to respecting wisdom, tradition and our heritage.
The legacy of humanity is not only in the young generation but also in our elders.
