Unconditional Love

Melissa's mom came into my office wondering if I could provide a different option for her daughter to get healthy. Mellisa has cerebral palsy, psychological imbalance that results in difficulty controlling anger and an intestinal absorption problem (called leaky gut syndrome in alternative and complementary circles). Mom is bringing her daughter (with electronic wheelchair, computer talker/voice, and handicap car) to Rush GI department, Rehab Institute of Chicago and mostly a visiting counselor for Behavioral Health. She has handpicked the best of the best. I liken this to the FBI, CIA, National Guard, TSA; all powerful individually but difficult to get in the same room. Melissa has been maintained on specific protocol medicines well established for each diagnosis. The problem I see is that as she ages, the dynamics of her role as a patient change. Interpersonal self esteem, mom daughterrelationship, handicapped/caregiver status all will change no matter how solid and stable the physical home and care situation is.


Think of the typical guy that comes into my office at 40 years of age; hasnt seen a doc for 20 years aside from coughs and colds, then says "fix me doc". High cholesterol, high blood pressure, overweight, erectile dysfunction.....suddenly the small tolerable problems that were previously stable, all become problematic. I quickly stabilize the problems with prescription meds, highly suggest lifestyle changes and dont hear back until a refill is needed. Few years go by and no lifestyle has been changed, same bad habits fall out of control as more weight is gained, more family dysfunction is accumulated and more bad habits are continued. I give more medicines, stabilize and make more suggestions on seeing specialists. Then the specialists use a host of medicines for severe disease with individual suggestions for lifestyle change and diet modification. [I firmly believe it takes less effort to take a powerful pill than to submit to saying, I will switch to mostly vegitarian food, exercise 3-5 times a week, meditate daily or find another job with less stress.] The problem is that coping skills and pills will make things better until the next crisis occurs (and this is bound to happen because human interaction and interpersonal relationships are dynamic and always changing.)

I will see people after several crisis have been dealt with, and controlled. With each intervention, a bigger more poweful medicine is used or another specialist is called in. When the episodes occur with more frequency or regular medicines dont help and only harm (or make the other problems flare up); then hospitalization is attempted and intense polypharmacy, poly-specialist control, poly-therapy is thrown into the mix to stabilize and discharge. I used to just blame this cresendo-like occurance to total-body-failure on aging but I really believe this is just over medicating and not allowing the body to heal. Of course there are disease states that do not have a way out, when the spirit is really challenged .....but.... there are more disease states that have a way out (better living) but those doors are not opened.


Back to Melissa's case, it was mom who, even with every well known specialist in Chicago, listened to her instincts and went outside the box and looked for help. (In Bruce Liptons Biology of Belief-every cell in your body has an energy to it and every cell can create a message, the idea that about having a "gut feeling" takes the power of decision making away from the brain and more into your cellular DNA) I looked at her mom and saw someone that that was reaching out for answers not being given by conventional medicine. Melissa was in the hospital with a decompensating gut that didnt work and caused pain (I had a fear that she wouldnt leave the hospital at that point). The only nutrition was with an IV bag. (called TPN) There was a tube that went from her stomach straight out to her abdominal wall for feeding but her gut was too inflammed to even put water in the g-tube. I listened to moms story and it sounded like all the specialists were circling the wagons for the last fight. I didnt think I could add much more. AAhh!!! Then I turned on the part of my brain Deepak and Herb Benson trained and I thought......lets try to create a relaxing environment for Melissa. Soothing music, aroma therapy, a relaxed mom with hope (suggested she take a short vacation). Then I thought about sending out an SOS to 2 gurus-Dr Dave Rakel a fellow grad from the AZCIM and Jennifer Hoschel my herbalist from Clermont FL. We put together a few suggestions that the specialist were ok with and some the specialist didnt approve for lack of US studies. (these were mostly nutritional implementations) I didnt hear from mom for a while then 2 months later....here is Melissa- out of the hospital, out of her house for the first time in a year, in my office with mom and her caregiver Mindy, smiling dressed up and with more weight than the initial videos mom played for me during our first meet (since back then Mel was too weak to get out of the house). She talked to me via her computer board and I had a great meeting with everyone. After we finished and I said my goodbyes, I stepped out of the room feeling great then suddenly ......this unusual feeling came over me.....as if I just watched an episode of Oprah-the tears started flowing- I had to duck into an empty exam room to protect my testosterone. There are more challenges ahead, (and my gut is telling exactly what we have to do next) but Melissa and her mom have captured my heart. To see the dedication and instinctual bond they share even in the face of great challenge, makes me thankful I am able to experience their energy. (check out the smiles in the pic, that is a true dedicated family!)

Month 1, Training for Everest

Got back into my Deepak Chopra Audiobooks and I forgot the beauty of his wisdom. As I did my first hike for 2011 coming out of Chicago winter hibernation, I noticed during the portions of my hike that were on stone path, I was with some runners, the majority of which seem to have facial grimace. I do remember the feeling while running my marathons, I had to put myself into the "zone" to fight the urge to quit and turn in my electronic chip for a ride back to the finish line. So I tried to support these guys as I passed by but not much eye contact either. I mentioned my hike experience with Cristina and she said maybe they were just trying to push themselves for the health aspects of getting out. Then that got me thinking.....we probably train ourselves routinely with calling out the Hans Selye "stress response" but aside from getting our heart rate to tick at a lower rate than a non-exercising person, does a low heart rate and bp give us peace? I run into this in the office with big, muscular 20-30 year olds that come in for physicals and say "I'm healthy doc, I get enough exercise every day with the work I do", then I look at their blood pressure and find, pre-stroke levels. It's true they could lift more than I for 8 hours at a time but thats not the exercise that results in long living. Then there is the athlete type that comes in and although playing league basket ball or pushing weights and body building, cholesterol is high and liver a little fatty from alcohol use. I remember seeing a group of college guys hanging around the power rack at the gym taking turns in round robin full squats (not recommended for people who like to avoid cortisone shots in the knees) and one of the guys had a bite plate/mouth guard he was gnashing his teeth on when his turn to push the weight.
I only bring up the scenarios of anger associated exercise bursts to call for regular practice of calm and peace as well. I always go back to my first experience of relaxation and yoga with a patient of mine in his 40's with hypertension. I was giving him 2 daily medicines and leaving it at that as long as he was ok with taking the pills. One year he came in and stated he was going to try a new yoga place for exercise. (Back in the mid 90's, not too many yoga studios to choose from) I was skeptical but when I saw him the next season, his blood pressure was lower. Ok, I weaned him off the pills and the next time I saw him, he actually gained weight, not to the point of obese but little handles here and there, and his BP was still low!!! So to summarize, I controlled his BP with 2 different blood pressure pills, he started yoga, got pressure controlled and got heavier with continued control all with yoga and nothing more. No supplements, no surgical procedure, no job change....lin fact he was still running his business 40-50 hours a week. I started watching this "yoga cult" and their ideas of moving meditation and cultivating the "relaxation response".
Western medicine always pushes aerobic activity, cardio, exercise to bring the heart rate to 80% of your age maximum; all in efforts to postpone the onset of diseases of stress. (heart attack, stroke, diabesity) Its all scientific, proven with randomized control trials and pushed as an adjunct to eating healthy and controlling symptoms with prescription meds. But then cultivating the relaxation response, sitting in stillness and quiet, mindful living and spending time in nature; I feel is just as powerful, more rewarding and cost saving. For cultural reasons, the practice of spiritual grounding is looked at like the profession of psychiatry, its there and works but not embraced like the others profesions in healthcare. I thought is was just the baby boomer generation that thought of psychiatric illness as "nuts", but when a young guy came in for a school bus driver physical, the entire office sensed the very "bipolar-like" personality and demeanor so I told him respectfully that I cant approve his department of transportation card until fully evaluated by his primary care doctor for some underlying psychological tendancies I see coming out in the interview. The 30 year old said "so you think I'm crazy?" and started going into uncontrolled manic bursts (reinforcing my diagnosis of bipolar disorder).
I think most people are missing the boat with very beneficial techniques that work to allow the body to think better, heal faster and perform at maximum even without expensive gyms, equipment, or foods. I wouldnt substitute yoga and meditation for the whole exercise healthy living kick, but I would inter-twine the practice of cultivating Herb Bensons "Relaxation Response" amongst all the grunting, grimacing, panting, shouting, power movements everyone seems to try and turn a new leaf with.

The argument for; "Removing yourself from an Argument"

Most people have heard about the food that you crave is probably the food your body finds most harmful. (ie....people with hypertension crave salt, diabetics crave sugar) Not to say this is set in stone, but most comfort foods are the ones that have "turned on us". How dare a food become bad for my body! Lets talk about "the how". Food when it is broken down by the gut goes through some fancy chemical reactions and then introduction into the blood stream is made. Once in the blood stream, the different food types (protein, carb, fat) can induce a hormone wave to be released. The blood stream has delicate sensors that essentially tell the brain/body life is good so rejoice, relax and procreate or life is bad, fight, flee or scavenge. The take home point is that the body/mind can be coersed into creating an altered environment "inside" just by manipulation of hormones.

At a conference we presented saturday on Depression, it was cool to see some dynamics of communications with strangers. Most people have been taught to not open up too much to new aquaintances as part of a ritual in society of "getting to know others". Others will have some idiosyncratic habits of jumping into a conversation with very intense and saddening or argumentative personal revelation. And this would be in a first meeting! Most people would usually start to move away from the conversation, some will stay and engage. Aaahhaaaa! When the boistrous or codependant person gets an audience, the emotional stories begin... (both extrememly saddening or annoyingly involving-like the joke teller who laughs so loud one would be expected to also join in on the laugh for fear that you "don't get it")

Some people feel so comfortable in their diagnosis of depression or bipolar disorder that life seems stable when in tears or in argument with others. There will seem to be comfort in going back an environment that may be bad for health and socializing but it is what they are used to. There will be a talent of creating a tornado of emotion around the individual that you either get pushed away or get sucked into the conversation. The feeling or emotion thats evoked in a listener or innocent bystander to the tornado is called counter-transference. Those folks that can change the emotional feeling of a conversation to "depressing" or "defensive engaging arguments".....are creating a local climate change all around them- the saddened person will have everyon weeping with them or the argumentative person will always through out a new debate to keep one constantly defending another point. Either way, they feel comfortable having that type of "feel" within their mind/body and it is more empowering when others around them are involved with the feeling. It may not be your way of thinking/being but if allowed to engage, the force will be strong not to get involved emotionally. If not well grounded, the chance meeting with someone like this can subconsciously impact your actions the rest of the day.


Although my religious upbringing tells me I have to reach out to these folks, my actions has a healer are to help others first; engaging a tornado of emotion will hinder my ability to do this, so I confidently will respond with a simple answer and move on without guilt. If anything, I would reach out to the person supporting this tornado epicenter because they are exposed to this type of engagement every day.

......“If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it,” the master replied, “to whom does the gift belong?”

I caved in to McDonalds

I found myself saying to Brandon "....dont drink all the sugar soda, finish your processed food first!" I then thought of Alec Guiness in 1957 movie Bridge Over the River Kwai- "...What have I done". I try to eat healthy, I exercise and practice yoga, I meditate and try to find grounding every day (or at least when my schedule is busiest-yes, 30 minutes of mediation is important to the brain, you can think clearer and more creatively without having to rely on instinctual desision making). Recently I have been driven to perform my best with the goal of service to all those around me. My left brain has to shout its way through creative conscious thinking and say, "watch out, people will take advantage of you!" Luckily, with Deepak, David Simon and Davidji's teachings, I have been able to tap into the right brain to realize there is an interconnectedness to nature and others that is self supportive. That enigma referred to as Universal Consciousness supports what contributes to it and ingores what takes away from it. Listening to the conversations those 100 trillion cells of energy in my body have I will pour out to those that seem to need guidance and help and move away from those that selfishly take away without contributing back. In contemplating my journey to where I am now, the movitation for lifestyle change was initiated when the place I was working for changed the rules of how I earned a living. How dare they interfere with my life plan even if they are the organization I work for. Starting on my quest, I got some hints along the way of where to go, to learn, and how I could best offer talents. Initially resisting the calling, it was tough to figure what all these life experiences meant. Why should I have to pay for meeting Deepak Chopra or listening to him lecture about concepts "I could easily read on Wikipedia or Google Scholar." I don't need to take Andrew Weils fellowship, "I practice complimentary medicine already just by exercising and taking vitamins." I don't need to learn acpuncture, "my sports medicine training is proven to fix physical ailments regular doctors dont handle right." But as I surrendered to the messages my right brain was giving me to be humble and learn to heal, I kept on getting answers that were given back like little keys that unlocked doorways to vast places of knowledge and information. It is a beautiful thing to feel connected and involved in the shaping and evolution of people and the world. Naysayers will usually interject, "how will you pay the bills", "thats all good but kids have to be disciplined", "what if someone is drug seeking"? I now choose not to listen to those instinctual call outs from the left brain.....or what Wayne Dyer calls the ego. (that youthful way of thinking "I am number one, everything evolves around me, who I am is what I own or the degree I claim") One of the most common times for getting the ah ha moment of figuring interconnectedness is on the "death bed".....suddenly realization is reached that we all breath as one energy source (light) at which point forgivness is asked. I have a long trek ahead to learn and serve but along the journey......I have to realize "not everyone is ready to accept this form of "start saving the world by being healthy, offering random acts of kindness, trying to exude health and happiness and perhaps push it to everyone". Love, health and happiness is a concept that should emminate and be absorbed readily, it should be anonymously offered. Push is a counter productive word and concept that brings me back to what I noted this morning. I have to remind myself, just maintain my health and live right, those around me will in some way also feel benefit, I cant make everyone see the light like I see it...... letting Brandon eat what I eat is good. Letting him eat what his freinds on ritalin eat is good. The beauty comes when he turns around without any prompting and has to think; "Dad....is this healthy?" I have just "immunized" him against all the crap the food industry and the pharmaceutical industry are pushing unknowingly on a public that is defenseless.


I like to teach the world to sing......

My HMO Mechanic

So after some time of not driving my "fancy car", I took it out of storage and decided to get all its problems fixed up so I could sell it. I was content to say goodbye mostly because it wasnt serving me and I just dont feel the need for speed anymore. (I fact just the opposite, I am enjoying all of life as I am not rushed to do things). So I take it back to the best Porsche Mechanic around, these guys have the only paddock for mechanics at the Autobahn-a major high speed raceway in Joliet IL. I had several issues with leaking fluid, a noisy joint to both left and right, and more annoying- a constant SQUEEK from a worn part to my steering. If I still had enough garage space, I would fix them myself, I love taking things apart to see how they truely work inside! So I drop the car off with a list of things but I stress I need the suspension and squeeky noise looked into. I called several times to tell them this while they gave me updates on the gargantuan rebuilding of things I didnt need but they said "if you fix this, it will sell fast". ( I am just a peaceful man and want my squeek taken care of, it already goes fast enough for me.) I approved of a limited portion of the mega rebuild project that mirrors the US deficit and again finished my conversation with...."oh and don't forget that annoying squeek." Pick up day approaches and I am kinda excited to drive my squeekless car with a new rear main seal, two new wheel bearings and so much torque it can be in the next Fast and Furious movie minus the bikini's (although I have been told I am a looker in a speedo). So I see the car in the garage shop driveway....just like visualizing a halo around the shiny little red car just as I purchased it when it was only a little baby german machine and hearing angels sing aaahhhhhh in the background. I get in, open the door sit in and SQUEEEK as I turn the steering wheel.

It reminds me of an HMO surgeon who has no time for small talk. You tell them that the problem is in your knee as you call for an appointment. You tell the nurse the knee has been bothering you and thank god she finally took you into the room. After waiting dressed in a paper robe that sticks to your butt and underarms, you tell the surgeon what the symptoms on the internet said you had and wait for him to say "yes you are right" so you can go on with the treatment as Wikipedia says you need. You finally decide on the procedure for that knee and after waking up in recovery, SQUEEEK.... they do the wrong knee!

Is it just me....when I sat down to eat lunch yesterday, one of the docs in the neigboring offices came by the kitchen and said hello. The problem was the way he said it, most of his sentences were spoken very fast with and added personal note tagged on at the the end as if he was trying to get alot of information out with one breath. Like including and answer to my observation, a reason for the answer and personal tidbit for why the reason is right. And the sentence ended with the initiation of his physical movment out of the room we were speaking in. I felt guilty I was more in observation of his fast speech than the content of his thought. "Do I talk like that?"...I wondered. "Will he let me respond?"....I thought. "Is he really walking away before I can give my opinion?".....I worried. Bottom line, people are pressured to respond without listening to the entire question due to a stress response. When not relaxed, abstract creative thinking parts of the brain are turned off (to survive the human brain doesnt process things in the big frontal brain-it uses instinctual primitive brain stem paths to work) and quick responding, non emotional "anger or sex" ideas take over actions. If speaking to someone about trivial things....let them talk their breath out, dont expect to get a word in, no need to fight or answer sentence for sentence. BUT...if it involves your property, your family or your life, make sure it is clearly stated after their "Word Salad" they vomit up, your expectations and make them respond yes or no. The under paid, over worked person who is used to dealing with hundreds of questions with preprinted responses will probably not be listening to begin with. Point in fact....people that blurt out answers or additional questions as you are speaking, do you really think they are paying attention to what you are saying as they formulate their "Blurt"? Thats ok for trivial things like, "can I have a cookie" or "is Lady Gaga a man"; if a doctor is about to give you a standard answer followed by a standard prescription or surgical proceedure (soundeffect of tires screeching to a halt!!!!) ...MAKE.......THEM.....LISTEN!

Dirt

It seems so far off to think by staying healthy and getting off medicine, you can impact the health of the planet. It is true. I watched Dirt The Movie with the kids to support local green movement but was surprised to fall into the emotion of the movie. I am well versed with the ins and outs of human life and traditional and alternative ways to live. I know alot about the pharmaceutical industry, a good amount about organic and local farmers. I had no idea about how we impact the life of the planet (including greenhouse gas and global warming) by choosing to purchase a box of sugar coated cereal instead of organically grown fruits and vegetables. Tearing down centuries old mountains for minerals to serve a small fraction of the humans on the planet, destroying vast praries to plant one form of vegitation (wheat) that the majority of the US is now allergic to or to push on the public that milk a protein from another animal species is ok to drink until we are well into cancer age (although now cancer doesnt attack 60 and above-I am seeing 40 year olds with new diagnosis being placed on chemo therapy and told "diet doesnt matter, its just your genes")

I have to refer back to a common source, Samuel Kaymen CEO of Stonyfield Farm has fought through conventional dairy industry to maintain organic status and put out non pesticide laden food products because he believed in a product concept that would be healthier for people and an agriculture concept that was being battered by big industry and politics at the sacrifice of the taxpayers health. The average tax payer, supports without knowing it, the companies that produce and process wheat. The same companies that process the seed for the single crop, have to battle the insects that eat the vast fields of wheat so what better way to fight a bug than to put the pesticide in the dna of the seed!!!! Yay.....if the wheat seed was "friendly" to the pesticide, a plan could spray the nastiest chemical (think of the rat poisons in your basement and crawlspace) on the field and not have the plant die. The only thing that dies is the insect!!!

Wait.....the seed the blossoms into a wheat plant has DNA spliced into its gene that tells it "pesticide is ok". The plant that is sprayed with pesticide recognizes the chemical and is not affected by the poison. The insect and rodent that eat the plant laced with poison die since their DNA dont recognize the poison. But then the human will eat the same plant as the insect and rodent? Oh....the pesticide is safe for human consumption since humans are complex and have smart livers that break down anything. Oh ....wait, those are the same livers already breaking down tobacco, alcohol, prescription drugs, tylenol and dealing with high processed sugars. Oh wait....those livers belong to a society of humans working 50-60 hours a week, sedentary, obese and dealing with stressed lives by drinking, smoking, not exercising for lack of time and hunting for processed food high in fructose and wheat. Oh wait....isnt that eating more of the wheat that is Genetically Modified with foreign DNA and laced with pesticide?

Kathy told me of her mother in law who didnt like to visit doctors but was taken to the ER for hip pain. The xrays, MRI and physical exam all were normal. Because she was screaming the Ortho gave a pain shot and great results!!! She felt great, finally no suffering from what the doc said was not a fracture. She is a complex lady, 70 years old with other medical and mental stressors that had pain. Doc listened to the screaming, looked at her hip and gave a powerful medicine for the screaming. No more screaming is a good thing....until the medicine wears off. Screaming again, hip is the same, give the same medicine. By the time she was hooked on the pain medicine, still with screaming as it wore off, the nurses had to transfer her to a single "quiet" room then off to a rehab center since they couldnt handle her. And the nursing home will take her since she has medicare/ the chronic pain center or the drug withdrawal treatment center dont take government insurance. No one checked into other medical problems or mental stressors....they just focused on her hip being normal.

It seems like a strong chemical took care of an annoying problem that continued to surface itself but no one looked at the long term effects of how that chemical impacted the person eating it, the people caring to the person eating it, the healthcare insurance (our taxed paychecks) that pays for the place that will care for her and the medicines we will pay for to feed the addiction she has developed. If we dont pay attention to health (Grow organic/Stay healthy), If we only take shortcuts (Pesticides/Treating the Pain not the Person), If we dont look for other natural solutions (continue spraying more bulletproof fields instead of growing organic farms/continue giving medicine to quiet down screaming not treat the addiction and true source of the suffering) We will only add to the problem of pesticides in our food, deforestation, global warming, nuclear energy dependance/rising healthcare costs, pharmaceutical dependance, and the highest rate of obesity and cancer in the history of mankind.

I cannot speak for the global impact to the planet but I am confident that since I have made the decision to eat healthy, exercise, care for others and help my environment, I will probably outlive some of my childrens friends who are not doing the same. Watch these films:

Dirt The Movie

Food Inc

The Future of Food

Food Matters

Supersize Me

The Estrogen in Me

I was about 2 inches away from my wife this morning, face to face and I was just drawn back to the first time we met. (It reminded me of a scene from the Disney movie Ratatouille when the hard nosed food critic got ready to sample food and just as he took his first spoonful, the magic of CGI zoomed in on his eyes with amazement and took us through a journey of life flashes bringing him back to a childhood outside his house being comforted by mom and then offered moms same version of the dish up to his first bite as a kid)

Ratatouille Clip

Anyway, usually we just kiss each other goodbye and travel onto our separate lives at work. This time I slowed things things down and it brought me back to 1988 when we first kissed outside a jazz nightclub in the Philippines (Birds of a Feather). I wont bore anyone with details (and those are just for me and Cristina anyway), but when young love is new, look at the physiology of what happens. You get an endorphine rush but it is not truely a fight or flight reponse, it is the same biologic response to get ready for action but in humans it is also "laced" by the hormones of love (the parasympathetic system); oxytocin (the same hormone mom secretes when a baby is born) and serotonin (the one that is often synthetically increased by Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil....) This great internal environment/feeling created by the body is in Darwinian terms-essential for survival of the species. In Einsteinean energy theories, the feeling created within two humans by opening to each others "grace", is something we all have within us but are told by societies rules, don't let anyone see it (especially as a man growing up in the US) for fear that someone or something will take it away.

Truth is that 70% of the visits to a physicians office or ER now are based on uncontrolled pure stress response and not enough relaxation response. They need to both exist in use but not to the point of all stress and little to no relaxation. I give pills to give some chemical relief or the hormone imbalance but they are meant to be temporary. Usually what happens is you walk out of the doctors office feeling good that there is a plan to fell better (placebo response!) then start the pills. Ooops.....no one said what to do next. The thinking is usually, I don't want to see a psychologist "cause I'm not crazy". But how are we supposed to heal up when as adults we have painted ourselves into a corner of take on stress everyday but dont allow the relaxation hormones out. Alcohol, high glycemic food, TV, more adrenaline with "taking it out on someone weaker" or just going to sleep? Yeah, that is a great way to neutralize adrenaline, epinephrine, cortisol and dopamine. I will tell you that more than half of the hypertensives I see can get off their medicines with daily practice of the relaxation response.

Andy Weil and the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine teach their fellows to take a more extended history from patients and mine is always asking about the practice of spirituality. This would be meditation, mindful eating, nature walks, listening to your inner voice of peace. The usual answer 9 of 10 times is, "oh, I am catholic" or "I don't practice" spirituality. This too is an exercise that has to be cultivated and developed. The Dahli Lama (who I will be seeing in July!) has had to practice this for a lifetime can get distracted. I hold introduction lectures to meditation and usually with first timers, a lot of emotion is released just because they experience a feeling that essentially has been tucked away since childhood. (show me a child that is playful and hypertensive and I will give you free personal healthcare for life!)

Anyway, here is an easy opportunity to create an "internal mileau" or environment conducive to staying healthy and getting off blood pressure medicine: Go home, don't vent about the stress of the day....just quietly, slowly and intentionally hold hands with a loved one, let the feeling circulate, look into the eyes of the loved one, let the feeling build up and when ready slowly hold them and take a slow deep breath together and close the eyes. Pay attention to the feelings that come up from the heart, the ideas and pictures that come to you and then let the breath out. You have just secreted enough serotonin and oxytocin to equal the power of any depression drug I can ever prescribe and yet with no side effects. You have just showered all the cells of the body with a hormone they usually dont get. Cells desire this to work at their maximum potential. Your cells were made to fight disease, toxins, cholesterol and even cancer! They will work better when given the right conditions, you just have to intentionally create the environment inside.

(The Love Response was writen by a friend of mine at Harvard, Eva's work is a great read!)