I was about 2 inches away from my wife this morning, face to face and I was just drawn back to the first time we met. (It reminded me of a scene from the Disney movie Ratatouille when the hard nosed food critic got ready to sample food and just as he took his first spoonful, the magic of CGI zoomed in on his eyes with amazement and took us through a journey of life flashes bringing him back to a childhood outside his house being comforted by mom and then offered moms same version of the dish up to his first bite as a kid)
Ratatouille Clip
Anyway, usually we just kiss each other goodbye and travel onto our separate lives at work. This time I slowed things things down and it brought me back to 1988 when we first kissed outside a jazz nightclub in the Philippines (Birds of a Feather). I wont bore anyone with details (and those are just for me and Cristina anyway), but when young love is new, look at the physiology of what happens. You get an endorphine rush but it is not truely a fight or flight reponse, it is the same biologic response to get ready for action but in humans it is also "laced" by the hormones of love (the parasympathetic system); oxytocin (the same hormone mom secretes when a baby is born) and serotonin (the one that is often synthetically increased by Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil....) This great internal environment/feeling created by the body is in Darwinian terms-essential for survival of the species. In Einsteinean energy theories, the feeling created within two humans by opening to each others "grace", is something we all have within us but are told by societies rules, don't let anyone see it (especially as a man growing up in the US) for fear that someone or something will take it away.
Truth is that 70% of the visits to a physicians office or ER now are based on uncontrolled pure stress response and not enough relaxation response. They need to both exist in use but not to the point of all stress and little to no relaxation. I give pills to give some chemical relief or the hormone imbalance but they are meant to be temporary. Usually what happens is you walk out of the doctors office feeling good that there is a plan to fell better (placebo response!) then start the pills. Ooops.....no one said what to do next. The thinking is usually, I don't want to see a psychologist "cause I'm not crazy". But how are we supposed to heal up when as adults we have painted ourselves into a corner of take on stress everyday but dont allow the relaxation hormones out. Alcohol, high glycemic food, TV, more adrenaline with "taking it out on someone weaker" or just going to sleep? Yeah, that is a great way to neutralize adrenaline, epinephrine, cortisol and dopamine. I will tell you that more than half of the hypertensives I see can get off their medicines with daily practice of the relaxation response.
Andy Weil and the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine teach their fellows to take a more extended history from patients and mine is always asking about the practice of spirituality. This would be meditation, mindful eating, nature walks, listening to your inner voice of peace. The usual answer 9 of 10 times is, "oh, I am catholic" or "I don't practice" spirituality. This too is an exercise that has to be cultivated and developed. The Dahli Lama (who I will be seeing in July!) has had to practice this for a lifetime can get distracted. I hold introduction lectures to meditation and usually with first timers, a lot of emotion is released just because they experience a feeling that essentially has been tucked away since childhood. (show me a child that is playful and hypertensive and I will give you free personal healthcare for life!)
Anyway, here is an easy opportunity to create an "internal mileau" or environment conducive to staying healthy and getting off blood pressure medicine: Go home, don't vent about the stress of the day....just quietly, slowly and intentionally hold hands with a loved one, let the feeling circulate, look into the eyes of the loved one, let the feeling build up and when ready slowly hold them and take a slow deep breath together and close the eyes. Pay attention to the feelings that come up from the heart, the ideas and pictures that come to you and then let the breath out. You have just secreted enough serotonin and oxytocin to equal the power of any depression drug I can ever prescribe and yet with no side effects. You have just showered all the cells of the body with a hormone they usually dont get. Cells desire this to work at their maximum potential. Your cells were made to fight disease, toxins, cholesterol and even cancer! They will work better when given the right conditions, you just have to intentionally create the environment inside.
(The Love Response was writen by a friend of mine at Harvard, Eva's work is a great read!)
